


Someone To Stay

by GrieverBitMyFinger



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adult Ciel Phantomhive, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Caring Sebastian, Crying, Family Issues, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Modern Era, Poor Ciel Phantomhive, Sad with a Happy Ending, SebaCiel - Freeform, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrieverBitMyFinger/pseuds/GrieverBitMyFinger
Summary: Most nights, Sebastian found the weather soothing, the peaceful sounds lulling him and his petite boyfriend to sleep in an instant as they swathed themselves in soft blankets and warm kisses. But tonight, all it did was put him on edge. His arms were empty and the sheets beside him were as cold as ice, the sound of the shower from the next room intimately intertwining with the static noise of pelting rain.It wasn't that he had never laid without Ciel before, there had been many nights in college when his lover had a late class that ushered him back home long after sunset. His ears were never met with strained, feeble weeps reverberating from the bathroom during those times, however.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Someone To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Written for: Day 2 of Sebaciel Music Week - Sad Songs. The song I chose was Someone To Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic.

The pitter-patter of gentle raindrops echoed throughout the small London apartment. The sky outside was pitch black with the late hour and lingering storm clouds, flashes of light illuminating the dank streets below like clockwork with every low drone of rolling thunder. Most nights, Sebastian found the weather soothing, the peaceful sounds lulling him and his petite boyfriend to sleep in an instant as they swathed themselves in soft blankets and warm kisses. But tonight, all it did was put him on edge. His arms were empty and the sheets beside him were as cold as ice, the sound of the shower from the next room intimately intertwining with the static noise of pelting rain.

It wasn't that he had never laid without Ciel before, there had been many nights in college when his lover had a late class that ushered him back home long after sunset. His ears were never met with strained, feeble weeps reverberating from the bathroom during those times, however.

Sebastian wasn't oblivious to the younger male's struggles as of late, he knew all too well that Ciel's family situation wasn't ideal, but thought it was best to avoid prying. If Ciel wanted to vent or discuss it, he would always initiate the conversation himself. But it seemed that in the process of giving the boy space to breathe, he'd forgotten his habit of lying from fear of being seen as a burden. He had been burying his hurt, frustration, and anger for far too long, so much that he was forced to crumble completely alone, all while thinking that his inner-ache was well-hidden and slipping by his boyfriend unseen. It was time for that to change. Sebastian had sworn to make sure he would never feel alone again, and it was a promise he was determined to uphold.

With a troubled sigh, Sebastian rose from their shared bed, his footsteps muffled by his sable socks and the charcoal carpet at the foot of their bed as he strode hastily to the door on the other side of the dimly-lit bedroom. Without a word or the rapping of his knuckles against dark wood, he turned the icy knob, relieved to find it was left unlocked. The door was pushed open silently, revealing the smooth, dove-feather counter and the partially fogged glass of the shower in the corner of the steam permeated room.

The sight that greeted him was heartbreaking. There, on the wet tiles of the shower floor, Ciel sat, curled into a tight ball with his knees to his chest and a continuous utterance of hand-muffled weeps filling the air. No matter how hard the boy had tried to hide his desolate cries, it had been in vain. His cheeks were tearstained and florid, and his eyes more swollen than Sebastian had ever seen them before, the harsh tremors wracking his diminutive form causing him to shiver beneath the cooling water. It was clear that his lover had yet to notice his presence, and so he used that time to gather a fluffy towel to wrap him in before approaching the glass door leading into the fairly large shower. His movements were planned and calm to avoid startling the younger male, his hands working to hastily shut off the water as he knelt beside his boyfriend of three years. "My darling, what's wrong?"

Large, pink-rimmed eyes widened owlishly, bitten lips quivering violently as Ciel stared tearfully into the worried gaze of his boyfriend. "Sebastian…? I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm sorry," he forced out through cracked lips, voice hoarse when he spoke through stilted sobs. His stomach and chest undulated wildly with proof of his distress, breaths hitching with loud hiccups between every breath as he tried with all of his might to withhold the pitiful sounds leaving his lips. Sebastian's question was left unanswered as his head sank into his knees, hiding his pinched features and the sadness trapped inside those bicolour eyes. "I'll be fine. You can go back to bed and I'll join you in a few minutes."

Sebastian's frown deepened upon hearing the boy's apologetic dismissal, hands reaching out to pull the shaking figure to his chest. He felt the water still clinging to Ciel's skin sinking into his shirt, but he cared for that no more than he cared about the droplets dripping onto the floor from the shower door. Willowy arms coiled around his neck as warm tears dampened his neck, his hands instantly rubbing slow circles across the boy's thin back. "I'm not leaving you alone like this, Ciel… You don't have to tell me what's bothering you right now if you don't want to, but please let me get you dried off and somewhere more comfortable so you can calm down." A weak nod was all he needed to have him rising from the floor, scooping his boyfriend into his arms with little effort. He balanced him on the edge of the cold countertop before beginning to caress the towel he held along Ciel's soft skin, sufficiently drying him before helping him into one of his own crimson sleep shirts alongside his fluffy, cobalt robe.

Though still trembling, Ciel aided him in the process as much as he possibly could, choked breaths sounding in a rigid pattern of inhale, exhale. "So cold…" He murmured through shuddering lips, greedily clinging to his boyfriend's warmth when he was held once more. It seemed as if he was always chilled lately despite the nearing peak of summer, but whether it was because of his small stature and the constantly spinning ceiling fan in their living room, or his inner turmoil leaving him overwrought with stress and causing his body to react in kind, he was unsure.

"I'll get you a blanket, darling," Sebastian assured, balancing him with one arm as he plucked a fleece blanket from the foot of the bed. He wrapped it around the boy without stopping his pace, carrying him to the couch and helping him settle in before placing a soft kiss to his forehead. "Give me a few minutes to heat some water for tea and then I'll be back, okay?"

"Alright," Ciel whispered, wetness continuing to paint his cheeks as he curled into the corner of the plush sofa. What seemed like mere seconds passed before Sebastian was beside him again, pulling him onto his lap with a gentle tug. His embrace was tender, far more soothing than the finest tea or the softest blanket, the fingers stroking along his nape calming him until the sobs muted by Sebastian's neck had softened into quiet sniffles. The collar of his lover's shirt was soaked with tears, more continuing to seep into the thin fabric the longer they sat, but he was no longer struggling to take in air, his shaking having faded to the barest of quivers.

"Sebastian," he muttered without pulling back, arms shifting to encircle the taller man's waist as he settled more comfortably atop him. "I don't know what to do… I told you that my dad found out about us, right?" After catching an agreeing hum, he sighed. "Today at work, he threatened to fire me if I don't ' _come to my senses'_ , as he put it." With a bitter laugh and a slow exhale to keep from launching into a fit of weeps once more, he went on. "I would never do that, obviously, so I told him off and left work early; I was planning to go schedule some interviews with the other job offers I've gotten recently. And then mum called." He was unable to contain a whimper at the memory of his earlier phone call, still rattled by the words he had feared to hear the most ever since he was a young teen. He was shushed quietly as his eyes swam all over again, his hold nearly crushing as his distraught cries began to fill the room once more.

"It's okay, Ciel… Take as much time as you need," Sebastian crooned, pressing his lips to damp slate locks over and over again in hopes of placating his dejected beloved. Smoothing the mussed locks, he squeezed Ciel gently, holding more securely as the boy all but shattered in his arms. Had he not been attempting to be Ciel's anchor in his time of need, his brimming tears left unseen as Ciel burrowed closer to his neck, the following words would have had him crying alongside his lover in seconds. Though he wouldn't cry for the loss of the parents and brother who had so cruelly rejected Ciel for his happiness, but to mourn the falsity of the love that had all along been balanced on his family's own self-interest.

"She doesn't want to see me again and neither does Cedric."

"I'm so sorry, darling," Sebastian whispered, anger mounting higher as he considered the people who had brought the supposedly unshakeable heir to his knees. He had met the Phantomhives only once before, but it didn't take a scholar to see the imbalances that separated them from normal, happy families. Vincent and Rachel seemed like decent people from the outside, but their home alone spoke of their greed and hunger for power. Power earned through money, respect, _fear_. The only words he had ever heard Vincent speak to Ciel were callous, and Rachel's were filled to the brim with faux kindness. His twin's conversations with him were manipulative at best, and condescending at worst.

He sometimes questioned how Ciel was ever capable of caring for them at all, or how he had turned out kind despite the pressure on him to be as restricted and unfeeling as his predecessors. If he had it his way, he would flaunt their relationship to those who opposed it. He would pull the silver ring from the box in his nightstand and propose to the youngest of the Phantomhive's sons before their very eyes, and prove to them that their status in the business world meant nothing where love was concerned. But it wouldn't be fair to Ciel. He was deserving of a special night, happy and far from those who sought to destroy them, with only the arms of those who truly cared for him to surround him. He wanted a night that they would both remember for the joy it brings rather than for the revenge he knew his lover would surely seek himself once he had time to heal. That day was still weeks away, however. What was important at present was easing the pain of the one he treasured most.

"I knew all along how they would react, but I foolishly hoped they would change. That they would say it didn't matter, that they still loved me… But they never really did anyways, did they?" Ciel breathed out, brows furrowed in a sorrowful fashion when he finally sat up to meet the eyes of his boyfriend, the one he decided long ago that he would give up everything for. Today he had done just that, but if keeping him meant losing a love he had chased after relentlessly for his entire life to no avail, then it would be okay. He just needed time. "I'm sorry for dragging you into all of this."

"Don't apologize, I always want to be here for you when you need me. But please don't hide this from me next time. You should never have to suffer in silence, you aren't alone." Offering an encouraging smile, he caressed Ciel's cheek softly. "I know it isn't much right now, and I know it isn't the same as the love of your parents and brother, but don't forget that there are many others who adore you. That part of your family may stand as nothing more than a reminder of how they've hurt you, but you have two aunts who love you dearly, as well as cousins. Not to mention, my parents and sister love you as if you were their own blood." For several minutes, Ciel said nothing to his declaration, but he could feel the tension in his spine beginning to ease the longer he hugged him. When Ciel's forehead pressed to his own, his tears had finally ceased. The weak simper he was given drew a relieved sound from his throat, and he laid a ginger kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

Without warning, he carried the boy into the kitchen, using the warm water on the stove to prepare two cups of chamomile tea. Ciel sat atop the counter as he stirred in the sugar and allowed the hot drinks to steep, watching silently as peace settled over the house for the first time in hours.

"Thank you for all of this, Sebastian," Ciel said softly, legs swaying idly as he accepted the offered mug. "Everything seems so much brighter with you here. Like it will all be okay in the end." He released a pleased hum as he took the first sip of the relaxing tea, closing his eyes as he savoured its decadent flavour. An arm wrapped around his waist and he immediately leaned into it, pressing a quick peck to Sebastian's cheek when he set aside his now-empty cup. 

"It will be okay, Ciel. It may not seem like it now, but it will be. I'll make sure of it." Sebastian put away their cups to wash in the morning, before gathering Ciel once more, smiling when he received no complaints aside from a small, tired grumble. He seemed numb, the after effect of his tears settling in as he rested limpy in his arms. But it was alright for now, he would feel better after some sleep. "It's quite late. Why don't we go to bed? Some rest will do you good, and since tomorrow is a Saturday, we can sleep in for as long as you want." With Ciel still cocooned in the blanket he'd draped over his shoulders, he discarded him carefully into the cool sheets, the lamp providing a serene glow of amber as the city below fell into a partial hush. The rain outside was adamant to stay throughout the night, however, the lightning and thunder had long since ceased, leaving only the melodious sound of quiet water droplets along the window panes. The noise was lulling, easing the couple as they settled down for the night.

"That sounds nice… We could go out to a café or something for dinner tomorrow if you'd like? I don't want this to ruin our weekend, it may be nice to get out for awhile." Ciel nuzzled into Sebastian's chest as he reached to flick the light off, arms embracing him the moment the room was ensconced in darkness. The blankets were heavy and as pleasantly warm as the fireplace in the winter, and combined with the soft scent of lavender and sandalwood shampoo, Ciel was easily pulled in by the sleepy serenity washing over him like ocean waves. Long fingers combed through the boy's chalcedony locks, and he gave a blissful purr, kneading into the delicately sculpted chest as his lips grazed Sebastian's neck. His eyes began to flutter softly and he tried valiantly to fight the sleep taking him hostage, but a soft trill had him drowsily succumbing to the welcoming call of his cloud-like pillow and the cozy embrace keeping him warm and safe.

"We'll do whatever you'd like, Ciel. We can decide in the morning," Sebastian appeased, eyes drifting shut as he too melted in the hold of his lover. Upon receiving a pleased, yet noncommittal sound, he chuckled, sensing the boy's fatigue with the sluggish sound. "For now, just get some sleep. Tomorrow won't feel so bleak, I promise."

"Mm… I know, I look forward to it," Ciel whispered, eyes falling completely shut as he gave into sleep's magnetic pull. "I love you."

"I love you too, my darling. May your dreams be pleasant." Low snuffles filled the room as Ciel finally drifted off, and Sebastian followed him in slumber swiftly after, expression relaxed and heart full as the light of the city faded. And as the two lovers rested comfortably in each other's arms, the rain outside halted for the first time since dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments always make me happy! Feel free to send any questions or prompts on my Tumblr: griever-bit-my-finger


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